Do i look innocent?

Though at first glance, i may seem naive and innocent, i am not. hahaha.

Often i find myself disliking certain ppl and yet unable to voice that out cos everyone else seem okay with them. Despite the majority opinion versus minority opinion thingy, i still secretly hold true to my thoughts, ideas and impressions of the that person. I am unconventional and dislikes herd mentality. For this case at least! hahas

I like to say i secretly pride myself on being able to judge ppl accurately. Definitely judgement cant be based on nothing right, so, i have to add that i pride myself on my sharp observations too! so much pride have i, eh?

so okay, currently on my mind now are 2 such persons...

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i am a shadow of what i was before. Before the naive girl in me is being tore apart by the ugliness of other self-centred humans.

I was browsing through some of my old autograph books...Back in those days when they are all the rage, everyone owns one such book and passes it around the whole class for a written record of "who are my friends in secondary/primary school"...

Ppl wrote that im always happy and cheerful and how i brighten their day. I wonder, was i really like that? If so, days back then must be happier then. Nowadays, what is there to be happy about? Just travelling to school is like a chore. Of course going home is supposed to be happy, but i guess one can be too troubled or tired to actually feel happy alr. SIGH

Ppl wrote that i was very helpful, enthusiastic and what not. Hmmms back then my illusion of witches only exist in fairytales wasnt popped yet. i didnt know and havent met anyone who was selfish and self-centred to the extent that it would change my whole outlook of everyone else on Earth. sn was just such a nice, sheltered, warm and lovely place, even with the preachy principals and other horrible events in my sec sch life.

aww the memories. Worth reliving and reminiscing BUT, i wld still prefer the smarter and more cautious and more mature me now. For the record, i have decided my age to remain at 17 gg to 18 no matter what. Time is passing me by too quickly...

i am 17 gg on 18.

Oh another thing...you know how sometimes it get annoying when someone talks to you about something that u are totally not interested about? Although you dont seem to be participating in the "conversation", that person totally didnt take the hint and rushes on enthusiastically about his chosen topic. That gets on my nerves especially if im occupied with something. AND the most important factor here is that person happens to be someone that you are on close terms with. You dont really want to issue a "oh, i dont know and dont care so shush" kind of reply in fear of hurting that person... oh dear, the torture continues. This what i observed ill do...

- with eileen, just interrupt her and change topic, she catches on very fast anyways.
- with my sis, just keep quiet and let her run out of gas. At least to my sis, im not obligated to give replies when directed qns at.
- with grp a, just nod and smile mildly and turn away letting ur attention drift to something else. At least with the attention gone, they will move on the other targets and not me!
- with grp b, post a question instead of answering to divert the topic. Question shd be straight forward and easy to answer. This breaks their train of thought and hopefully they will steer to other topics.

food for thought!

ttfn.